Half Truths
My daughter and son-in-law are studying a book in their small group entitled: Half Truths: God Helps Those Who Help Themselves and Other Things the Bible Doesn't Say by Adam Hamilton. I haven't read the book but I'm going to. Too many times, well-meaning people throw out these phrases without even thinking. They think just because the word "God" is in the titles these phrases are true. I think these phrases are religious catch-alls.
The half truth I want to talk about today is the "God doesn't give you more than you can handle" one. I have always felt this was bunk. To believe that, one would have to believe that God gives us bad things. That is most certainly not true. God only wants good for us. Bad things happen, yes, but those bad things aren't from God. (The promise in 1 Corinthians 10:13 is not about God not giving us more than we can handle it is about God not allowing temptation to overwhelm us without Him providing a way of escape so that we can endure the temptation and not fall into sin (like Israel did).
There have been three major things in my adult life that I definitely couldn't handle: the attempted suicide of one of my daughters, the ever-worsening condition of my depression and most recently, the death of my marriage. I may or may not talk about the first one in future posts; I definitely will talk about the second but today's post only considers the third: the death of my marriage.
On Monday, May 1st, my marriage was intact and I thought everything was fine. We were financially comfortable, paid cash for anything we needed and wanted, had just (finished just this past January) remodeled and I had the kitchen of my dreams, traveled a fair amount, had great couple friends, were active in our church and were fortunate enough to have both of our daughters living in our same town. We spent lots of time with our girls and son-in-law and granddaughter and in my opinion, we had "life by the balls" (a crass term but accurate.)
On May 2nd, within minutes of waking up, all of that came crashing down. I had no warning. My husband had been planning and working on a separate life from ours. I was completely blind sighted. I moved through the following days and at least 4 months in a state of fog. If not for my faith, my daughters, my mother, my therapist and three specific friends, I might have wanted to die. I kept hoping for him to plead for me back, to show remorse and agree to seek counseling and work it out, to realize all he was giving up for what I know will only be temporal and fleeting happiness.
But it didn't happen and I had to shove those desires way down deep and try to deal with the reality that every fiber of my being, while aching for my husband and my life back, needed to be about the business of healing. I couldn't handle this - on my own. I could only handle this with the help of God and the Holy Spirit He placed within me. God surrounded me with a christian community that ministered to my wounds. He nudged me to seek out His word in the Bible and in different devotionals. I feel His assurance that things will work out and that my financial worries will be manageable. (Worry is a whole different topic which I could probably teach a class in.)
I am a long way from being "fixed". I don't know if I'll ever be "fixed". But I do know that in this nightmare, God is quietly but deliberately handling things. He's got my back. He is at work in my life, during this struggle and all others. Sometimes I can't handle what happens in my life, but that is when I am to focus on God and His promises. He wants me to turn toward Him and to seek out his guidance and assurance. I am so grateful to my parents for raising me to believe and know, to love God. It is that faith that keeps me going. It is that faith that reassures me that if I go to my Father, He will give me help. Simple as that.
Christine Caine, Australian activist, evangelist, author, and international speaker says: "We so often give up on the process of healing because we want to be fixed instantly. Jesus is working while we are waiting so DON'T QUIT!"
The half truth I want to talk about today is the "God doesn't give you more than you can handle" one. I have always felt this was bunk. To believe that, one would have to believe that God gives us bad things. That is most certainly not true. God only wants good for us. Bad things happen, yes, but those bad things aren't from God. (The promise in 1 Corinthians 10:13 is not about God not giving us more than we can handle it is about God not allowing temptation to overwhelm us without Him providing a way of escape so that we can endure the temptation and not fall into sin (like Israel did).
There have been three major things in my adult life that I definitely couldn't handle: the attempted suicide of one of my daughters, the ever-worsening condition of my depression and most recently, the death of my marriage. I may or may not talk about the first one in future posts; I definitely will talk about the second but today's post only considers the third: the death of my marriage.
On Monday, May 1st, my marriage was intact and I thought everything was fine. We were financially comfortable, paid cash for anything we needed and wanted, had just (finished just this past January) remodeled and I had the kitchen of my dreams, traveled a fair amount, had great couple friends, were active in our church and were fortunate enough to have both of our daughters living in our same town. We spent lots of time with our girls and son-in-law and granddaughter and in my opinion, we had "life by the balls" (a crass term but accurate.)
On May 2nd, within minutes of waking up, all of that came crashing down. I had no warning. My husband had been planning and working on a separate life from ours. I was completely blind sighted. I moved through the following days and at least 4 months in a state of fog. If not for my faith, my daughters, my mother, my therapist and three specific friends, I might have wanted to die. I kept hoping for him to plead for me back, to show remorse and agree to seek counseling and work it out, to realize all he was giving up for what I know will only be temporal and fleeting happiness.
But it didn't happen and I had to shove those desires way down deep and try to deal with the reality that every fiber of my being, while aching for my husband and my life back, needed to be about the business of healing. I couldn't handle this - on my own. I could only handle this with the help of God and the Holy Spirit He placed within me. God surrounded me with a christian community that ministered to my wounds. He nudged me to seek out His word in the Bible and in different devotionals. I feel His assurance that things will work out and that my financial worries will be manageable. (Worry is a whole different topic which I could probably teach a class in.)
I am a long way from being "fixed". I don't know if I'll ever be "fixed". But I do know that in this nightmare, God is quietly but deliberately handling things. He's got my back. He is at work in my life, during this struggle and all others. Sometimes I can't handle what happens in my life, but that is when I am to focus on God and His promises. He wants me to turn toward Him and to seek out his guidance and assurance. I am so grateful to my parents for raising me to believe and know, to love God. It is that faith that keeps me going. It is that faith that reassures me that if I go to my Father, He will give me help. Simple as that.
Christine Caine, Australian activist, evangelist, author, and international speaker says: "We so often give up on the process of healing because we want to be fixed instantly. Jesus is working while we are waiting so DON'T QUIT!"
Comments
Post a Comment